Cold and Carefree
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Elena and Yuffie are fed up with Tseng and Reno. Can Materia change them into the perfect lovers? Reffie with Tselena for Speedy Speck.


Cold and Carefree

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for Speedy Speck so enjoy! Please R&R.

Elena sighed as she slumped down on the couch next to Yuffie, the ninja looking down for once.

"Men..." Elena muttered.

"You said it," Yuffie commented. They hadn't planned on hanging out tonight but both their boyfriends had decided they had better things to do: Tseng going back to the office to do more paperwork while Reno was hanging out at Rude's, the two undoubtedly coming up with pranks to use at work.

"I'm getting really annoyed at Tseng's workaholic perfectionism! All he does is work, comes home, works again, and then sleeps. I don't know how much more I can stand," Elena said.

"Well at least he has a goal for himself. Reno loves to prank me more than kiss me, I swear. The Turkey acts more like a little kid than a man, makes me want to belt him sometimes!" Yuffie said, clenching one of her fists.

"If only there were a way to make them pay more attention to us," Elena said, sighing. Yuffie bolted out of the couch then and stuck her hand in one of her many pockets. For several minutes she felt around until her face finally brightened as she removed a striped ball of yellow Materia.

"This can help do that!"

Elena blinked her eyes for a moment before pointing to the Materia.

"What can that do for us again?" Yuffie put her free palm in her face and shook her head back and forth.

"Elena, Elena, I forget you're a Turk sometimes. This can make them switch priorities to us! We'll be worshiped like we deserve to be!" Yuffie said, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"That does sound nice...are you sure it won't hurt them?"

"Nothing will go wrong, trust me!" Elena nodded and Yuffie held out the Materia to her. "Now place your hand over this and think of Tseng. We'll know if it works after that."

So Elena did as Yuffie said and the ninja placed her own hand over Elena's, the two concentrating on their lovers. The Materia glowed brightly before sputtering and dying out.

"Did it work?" Elena asked.

"We'll know tomorrow," Yuffie replied. And so Elena left Yuffie's apartment, the blonde hoping it worked.

* * *

Sliding in beside Tseng twenty minutes later, she stared at his slumbering form for a moment before drifting off to sleep herself.

The smell of pancakes met Elena's nostrils the next morning. Opening her eyes, the blonde decided to forgo her normal routine of a shower before breakfast and padded downstairs after wrapping a pink robe around her body.

"Laney, you're up!" Elena blinked, then rubbed her eyes. Tseng had his hair out of his usual ponytail and grinned at her as he turned around, spatula in hand. "Sit down and I'll serve these up right away, nothing but the best for my Laney!"

Still stunned at the sight, Elena sat down and a few moments later a plate was plopped in front of her, the pancake on said plate smiling up at her through a whipped cream mouth with blueberry eyes.

"It worked," she whispered.

Yuffie, meanwhile, was staring at Reno. He had been up an hour before her, making sure he looked presentable.

"Turkey...aren't you being a little preoccupied with your appearance?" Reno turned to her and narrowed his eyes slightly, his shirt buttoned all the way up.

"Dearest, I must look my best for work. And speaking of which, I have to leave." Kissing her on the lips for a moment, he broke apart and gave her a small smile. "Have a great day, I love you."

And then he was gone.

"At least he didn't prank me," Yuffie said, still in shock at how good that kiss was.

* * *

A few hours later Elena was typing up some reports when her cell phone rang. Answering it, she heard Tseng's voice on the other end.

"Is your refrigerator running?"

"You know it is Tseng," Elena responded.

"Then you better catch it!" And then the line went dead.

She was called into his office half an hour later and he gestured for her to sit.

"Tseng, what exactly did you- but as her butt met the seat a trumpeting blast escaped from the vicinity of her rear. And then Elena saw something few ever had: the sight of Tseng giggling like a schoolgirl at his whoopie cushion gag.

"Man Elena, you obviously love eating beans, don't you?"

The blonde stormed out of his office leaving the brunette with a hand print on his left cheek. Rubbing it and wincing a little, he shook his head from side to side.

"Must be her time of the month."

* * *

Rude looked over at Reno's work area, shocked at how clean his desk was. The red head was typing rapidly at his computer and Rude looked over his shoulder.

"New prank?" he asked. Reno didn't spare him a glance as he replied.

"No, I'm getting my work done, which you should be doing," Reno responded coldly.

Rude went back to his desk, certain he was in some alternate reality.

* * *

Yuffie opened the door to her apartment and realized that the lights were off. As she turned them on, her eyes widened at the sight of her favorite Wutain roses in the center of the long dinner table, two plates on either end covered in her favorite fish, and a bottle of champagne. Reno was at the other end, holding out a chair for her.

"How was your day?"

"Much better now," Yuffie replied, coming up to kiss him passionately. Once they broke apart, he smiled.

"We better eat, don't want the food getting cold."

Yuffie sighed a little but nodded. The old Reno would have prolonged the kiss as long as possible and not even care about dinner. But the ninja shook her head at her nostalgic memory.

"Thanks Re, it looks yummy!" Reno nodded and the two began to eat.

Elena chewed her gum ball covered pizza and grimaced a little, Tseng not noticing as he tore into his own slice.

"Itws guud, rigwt?" he said with his mouth open. Elena blanched a little at that and remembered how Tseng was always neat as he ate, talking with Elena about whatever she wanted, always the gentleman. A burp cut off her trip down memory lane and Elena sighed heavily. "How awesome was that?!" Tseng crowed.

* * *

As Reno was brushing his teeth before bed, he felt two arms wrap around his waist.

"Hey Turkey, you ready for dessert?" Yuffie whispered in her best seductive tone. After Reno spat out the toothpaste residue from his mouth and wiped his lips, he looked at Yuffie.

"I'm sorry, not in the mood. Besides you might not enjoy it, statistics show that only twenty percent of women are truly satisfied by their partners in bed," he stated calmly.

"But I'm not like most women and you satisfy me a- but Reno cut her off with a finger to the lips.

"Sorry Yuffie, it's late and I don't want to be tired during work tomorrow." And with a peck on the cheek, he slipped out of her arms and went to bed.

"This sucks..." the ninja muttered.

Elena, on the other hand, was trying to enjoy every moment she could with Tseng in bed. But the sable haired Turk had apparently forgotten the meaning of the word foreplay and was instead blowing raspberries all over her nude form.

"Tseng, let's get- but he cut her off by blowing a raspberry on her stomach.

"C'mon Laney, it's fun! Now you do me!" Elena threw up her arms and turned away from him.

"I'm going to bed," she huffed, closing her eyes.

"Laney, Laney-waney, Lanawiscious, Lanavovoo,Lanaroo,Lanapanda,Lanalala- but Tseng was silenced by the intense glare she sent his way.

"Shut up and go to sleep, understand?" Tseng nodded and whimpered a little bit.

Elena lay back down and remembered a time when Tseng would wrap her in his arms and whisper sweet nothings to her ear.

"I want the old Tseng back," she whispered before sleep came over her.

* * *

The next afternoon, Tseng skipped through the door of Yuffie's apartment and saw his girlfriend along with Reno and Yuffie.

"Hey guys, ready to party?!"

"In a moment Tseng, but first Yuffie has some Materia to show us," Elena said. Tseng gave a thumbs up and leaped over the couch and into Elena's lap.

"Sir, try being a bit more respectful of our apartment," Reno said. Tseng just stuck out his tongue at his subordinate.

But Yuffie got their attention when she whistled and held up the glowing yellow Materia in her hand.

"Now let's all touch it and see what it does, 'kay?"

The other three nodded and placed their hands on it, Elena and Yuffie thinking of how their boyfriends used to be. A burst of energy coated all of them and when it vanished, Tseng and Reno were holding their heads in pain.

But it soon passed and the two blinked rapidly.

"Elena, I have a feeling I should apologize for something," Tseng said. Elena took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, smiling widely at him.

"You don't have to Tseng, can we just go home?" Tseng nodded and left with his girlfriend, wondering just why he felt so odd.

When the door closed, Yuffie felt Reno's hands wrap around her waist.

"Hey babe, I feel kind of weird too. Have I been acting any differently?"

"Nope, now how about some afternoon loving from the world's greatest ninja?" Reno chuckled and picked her up bridal style.

"Sounds great but you know I'm better than you when it comes to the bedroom," he growled, carrying Yuffie to bed.

* * *

The next day, after a night of holding Elena close, Tseng was woken up by Elena giving a shout. Tseng bolted awake and saw his blonde haired lover bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Wakey, wakey, Tsengy poo! Let's go hunt for Materia today!"

Reno, on the other hand, woke up to find Yuffie getting dressed in one of his spare Turk suits.

"Ready for our newest mission Reno?"

Things were far from normal but they never were when the Turks and Yuffie were involved.


End file.
